Misogyny, Femininity and Basketball
- Giselle Delgado Buraye (Gigi)
- May 29
- 3 min read
I used to think being feminine was wearing flowery dresses, being weak and talking about mindless stuff.
For many years I was very uncomfortable with women. I hated doing what I thought were "girly things" and growing up I preferred playing sports and hanging out with the boys because they were more fun and practical. There was less drama and no "stabbing behind the back" because boys "just say things as they are" or so I thought.
I grew up in a matriarchy and even though I admired many aspects of the women I was surrounded by, I also disliked the masculine energy that they exuded, the aggression and lack of transparency I saw. Today I understand they were acting out of their unresolved pain and unhealthy feminine... the pain of being led by toxic men, and a culture that made misogyny the status quo.
Also, as a child, in school I was surrounded by girls with whom I thought I had nothing in common with, because I thought I was the only one going through sexual abuse and abandonment and neglect from functional dug addict parents at home.
Little did I know...
Until I healed my wounded feminine and stepped down from the toxic masculine energy I was living out of that helped me survive trauma for years, I was able to have not only compassion for myself but also for the women around me. I had to repent from the way I judged women too. I had Internalized Misogyny and I hated myself too...
Today, after all the years of healing I embrace both sides of me - the masculine and the feminine. I can play basketball in a dress, be tough and gentle at the same time. I hold space for women in Growth Groups every month and travel the journey of self-discovery with them with compassion and curiosity... Healing is indeed such a beautiful thing!
So what is misogyny, anyway.
According to Merriam Webster misogyny is hatred of, aversion to, or prejudice against women. But I like the Ai explanation better:
Misogyny is the hatred of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women and girls. It is a form of sexism that functions to maintain patriarchal social structures, often punishing women who challenge male dominance. Misogyny manifests through discrimination, violence, objectification, belittling, and sexual harassment.
Core Aspects of Misogyny
Definition: Derived from Greek misein ("to hate") and gynē ("woman"), it represents a deeply rooted prejudice, often distinct from, but related to, systemic sexism.
Function: It serves to enforce traditional gender roles and keep women at a lower social status than men.
Forms: It can appear as overt violence, sexual harassment, online abuse, or more subtle behaviors like belittling and victim-blaming.
Internalized Misogyny: Women may sometimes hold misogynistic views of other women or themselves, known as internalized misogyny.
What do you hear when someone tells you:
"YOU ARE SO FEMININE" and why?
For all of us this phrase can mean different things, depending on who shaped our view on femininity, how we have cultivated that inherited view and also who we surround ourselves with.
And let's not forget that we are also influenced by religion, culture and toxic masculinity from both men and women!
This Tuesday, June 2nd we are having PART 2 of a Growth Group to heal the wounded Feminine. If this topic resonates with you and you live in Miami - I hope you decide to join us. You can register here.
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